Facebook got me going again this morning, right when I was about to really get in to putting the web page together, but really, obviously, my most basic needs have been met there, they were met this morning when I finally went in and spent the two and a half minutes of messing with it to figure out the differences in Weebly now that they’re hosting and my deal is different, but I figured it out and got started, but then I got distracted by a post inquiring as to where all the men were, why all the men weren’t joining these workshops and such that will teach them how to fill all of their partners’ unmet needs.
Thing is, having just filled my own needs in terms of doing the web page thing, it’s kind of like, WTF, why is it up to a man to fulfill a woman’s needs? Is she fulfilling all of his, or is she demanding that he attend a fulfill my needs workshop with her while ignoring his?
And no, I’m not single minded and one way on this, the thing is I’ve been involved with some really awesome men in my life, with a few douchebags, too, but with some really awesome ones, was married to a great one, but not one of them fulfilled all my freaking needs. There are some needs I should have discussed further with them, but didn't, not all of them anyway, because I was perfectly capable of filling those needs myself, and for the most part, they were not.And guess what? I had no expectation that any of them should fill all of my needs. Why should I? Why?
Now granted, if I’d had children with any of those men, and I didn’t, I’d have expected them to fill the needs of those children, you bet your ass I would. They’re freaking children, and parents are responsible for getting them to adulthood, at which point, they are no longer responsible for fulfilling their needs.
It’s kind of like the idea that some other human being on this planet is responsible for your happiness. Not so. Not at all. Sure, there are lots of folks who might be wiling to try like hell to make you happy, but nobody, ever, is going to make you happy other than you.
Now, there are folks who can work hard to make you miserable, or make you miserable without even trying, and those folks are probably best walked away from. If you happened to have children with that person, oops. You should probably work hard to work it out, but not so that your needs can be met. You should work it out so that the needs of your children will be met.
Have unmet needs? Are you a grown up? Let me introduce to someone who might be able to fill them.