It’s a place where nothing ever happens, at least that was Dave Byrne’s idea of it, and I thought, Dude, that might be your heaven, not mine, I’d get bored PDQ. Same thing with an old friend’s rather fundamentalist version of sitting on god’s right hand, or at it, while the milk and honey flowed down the golden streets, now wouldn’t that be a mess, and I kind of questioned god’s handiness, I mean, WTF does a god need a hand for, but then, that’s me.
Back when I was like, nine, I’ll just pick that age, I might have been pubescent, or a little older, but not much, I’d already been thrown out of Sunday school, for sure, and yes, I got thrown out of Sunday school, I asked too many questions that flustered the crap out of the teacher, who was clearly pushing bullsh*t and after she and my mom discussed it and then me and my mom discussed it, it was decided I didn’t have to go to Sunday school any longer, and that was at like, age 5 or 6, it was before we left Jersey, for sure, but I’d come up with my own version of what life after death looked like, and if somebody wanted to attach the word heaven or hell to that, fine, whatever.
My version was that if, and I do mean if, there was any awareness of anything after one died, it was probably whatever a body wanted it to be. I mean, if somebody was fully convinced that he was going to die and go sit on god’s right hand and watch the milk and honey flow all day, fine, he could just have at it. I wasn’t much interested in it.
Me, I’d be sitting by a beautiful flowing river, water, clear, clean, alive, with a nice man friend, who made perfect love, and we’d grill fresh meat over an open fire and f*ck each other’s brains out for eternity, or until we got bored with that, and then we’d go fishing or take a walk.
That sounded like a fine heaven to me. It would look a lot like earth, but before humanity f*cked it up. Imagine that.
On the other hand, if a body was convinced that he’d been a hopeless sinner, a really bad boy, well, then he’d probably get his ass kicked when he got up there to the Holy Father,or the holy father wouldn't even look at him, just toss him down to the fiery pits of hell. Imagine that. After all, that was what hell looked like on earth, right, the angry father?
Me, I always figured that when a body died, it died, or at least that was my perspective at age 9 or whatever age it was when I worked out for myself the entire question of mortality and that sh*t that seems to distract people so much from living.
Jesus Christ, if you spend your whole life worrying about WTF is going to happen when it’s over, you’re kind of focusing on the wrong thing, just saying. Focusing on how you interact in the world would probably be a whole lot wiser. And, well, that’s kind of what Jesus focused on, not what happened after you died, the kingdom of Heaven is within you, it’s your life, live it in a righteous manner. Don’t worry too much about what comes next. It comes next.