So it occurs to me, this morning, as I recall being near death, or at least utterly convinced I was there, in the void, deciding I wasn’t ready to die, feeling damned, and then getting up from it, and this morning, reading a post by a woman I admire, tons, and one of her respondents said something about dancing and ignoring the damned, and I thought, wow, I didn’t realize that anyone other than the goofy believed in damnation, and really, about the only time I even considered it as possibly true was as I was lying there feeling that way, but really, something new came to light as I read that.
Damnation might not be about life in Hell; it might be about life on earth, just like Heaven.
And so the Heaven or Hell on Earth thing always made absolutely perfect sense to me, but then, that’s because I was pretty sure that The End was The End, decomposition of body and no soul, but then I met my soul, and that of others, or at least I’m utterly convinced that is so, so there you go.
But then the Heaven and Hell thing struck me as a silly story, one made up to terrify children into modifying their behavior, something that seems totally bogus to me, because really, behavior modification should be a self choice thing, because, really, how else would whoever was at the Pearly Gates (I’d prefer a nice line of trees into the forest, myself, not much into milk and honey, and now I wonder if there’s some other version of Heaven for the lactose intolerant, but maybe they’re not consuming the milk, maybe it’s just to look pretty, but all white and honey gold seems really dull to me) decide whether that behavior was righteous for the sake of righteousness or if it was just about getting into heaven, because they’d been warned, but then all those poor slobs who hadn’t been, well, tough.
Just never struck me as a very godlike or fair system.
But then I supposed I could take a more Buddhist view, and think about reincarnation, and I have, and the idea that a person could work really hard to attain enlightenment and therefore overcome the never ending (well, almost never) cycle of re-birth, and so maybe rebirth and life on Earth is Hell, and non-life in the eternal non-void of not nothingness could be Heaven, but then, if one reads lots of that Buddhist stuff, it’s pretty darned hard to get into heaven.
And really, life on earth can be really Heavenly, and not Hellish at all, and lots and lots of folks who talk about Heaven and Hell sure don’t want to die, like, at all, they totally fear it, so I pretty much decided that it’s all kind of silly.
A body should just do the best she can not to be a turd, try to find her special purpose, pursue it, and chill out.
Chilling out is really good. Heavenly, almost.