Well, I never fell too far off, and it was moving really slowly, so it was easy to hop back on.
Back on the winter solstice day in 2014 when I decided to climb aboard the I don’t drink alcohol wagon, just because, I did a little ritual, and made a deal with the cosmos, or myself, or whatever. Maybe they’re the same thing, but of course not, because if they were, Jack Daniels would not exist.
I can’t stand bourbon.
But the deal that I made basically said that I wouldn’t drink for a year, or at least a year, but that was the thing that I wanted in the deal, because the drinking had been going on for lots of years, never heavy, ever, never out of control, but constant, pretty much every evening a drink or three, and I found that it was kind of like cigarettes, that I knew I didn’t want to do that every day, but I did it any way.
I was an addict.
So I didn’t drink for a year, and then two, and it felt great. Or maybe halfway through the second year, or later, I don’t know, I had a single glass of Pinot Grigio with dinner on the Bay of Fundy, and it didn’t do a thing for me, neither in taste nor in buzz, and I didn’t think about alcohol again for quite some time.
Then maybe six months or a year or some time at any rate later, I went to an all day concert thing in PA, lots of artists, lots of fun, Neil Young, he was really who I was there to see, and I had a $15 Mango Margarita to go with my soft pretzel, basically my lunch and dinner for the all day gig, and the Mango Margarita was good, strong even, it took me hours to drink it, it was huge, but that was that, and again, I didn’t have anything to drink for like, forever after that.
Probably the Who, which was pretty recent, where I had a much smaller and cheaper Margarita with my two yummy little carne tacos. Yummy.
Then I had that six pack of Belgian Ale a week or so ago camping, really good, Monk I think was the brand, fine stuff. And then I discovered those Trulys, and man, they are Truly good, sparking water, spiked, just crisp and clean and refreshing, better than the beer even in a way, and I like beer, a lot.
And the thing is, stress levels are so effing over the top in my life right now, I thought f**k it, I want to get sh*tfaced drunk, I forget what that feels like, but not really, I knew I didn’t want that, because if I did, I’d have just gone and bought a bottle of vodka, liquor is quicker, for sure, but those Trulys were yummy and I thought, yeah, let’s do this, and so I drank a six pack the other day while sitting here writing.
Didn’t get sh*tfaced, did dance a little, and it was fun, but it’s fun sober, too, the writing was neither brilliant nor awful, I got all dehydrated, and had a headache when I woke up. And really, I’d already decided after drinking 3 beers each the first two nights while camping, the freaking beer made me have to pee, like, all night, I didn’t sleep well, and the last night when I didn’t have any beer I slept like a baby, it was awesome, I felt good.
Besides, that stuff's expensive.
So, yeah, it’s easy, I’m back on the wagon again. It’s kind of like back in the saddle, but I’m saving that essay for if and when I ever get laid again. I never was all that great on a horse though.