Not the movie, but I’m sure that’s why she used that line in describing him. But it’s not the line that grabbed me, bigly, but the one that followed it. He had a Beautiful Mind and a Private Heart, and she signed it “his wife of twenty years”.
I knew that private heart. I wonder if the second wife did, any better than the first.
I knew about his mother and father, of course they knew those things, or those people, or at least the first wife did, but I assume the second did, too, I assume he didn’t keep the massive skinny dipping painting of him and first wife that Dad did hanging in the house, so I assume it was the second, the one his private heart was still coming to terms with losing.
And I knew about the siblings, their clash, their estrangement, I hope his not so private heart found itself and them before he left this world, or at least that he reconciled himself to it. Their end of that conflict did not seem so outlandish to me, at all, and I wondered if he’d ever considered it fully before.
Perhaps that was the thing, the why of our meeting, I’m so sure there is no such thing as coincidence, but then, I’m an all or nothing kind of gal, something that Beautiful Mind and not so private heart would (does) appreciate, digital kind of a guy that he was.
Perhaps he needed someone to reveal that Beautiful Heart to before he passed on. Maybe he just needed the reminder of his material mortality, something he was in denial of when we met, perhaps too many years steeped in science.
He’d been kind of taken aback when we met, because he told me he was a magician with flower essences, and I immediately asked him what essences I was wearing, well, not really wearing, but there are two distinctive botanical essences in the essential oil mix I most often use after washing my face, and I was using them then, and he couldn’t tell me, and I could see that it threw him.
Beautiful minds don’t like flunking the test, especially not when they’ve brought so much of life into their science the way that he had after he walked mostly away from the digital world and focused his attentions on plants and the earth. It’s not always easy to straddle the worlds of science and its technologies and life.
Science makes all sorts of ridiculous claims and promises, so godlike those mostly atheists see themselves to be. That’s what happens when we lose our gods, we remake ourselves in their image. It’s a particularly dangerous condition in those Beautiful Minds, the ideal of material immortality, just need to beat the limits to DNA replication, overcome our biology.
Overcome our lives. So silly.
I was a total bitch to him, at least in my total lack of tact in responses during some of our discussions, but the thing is, he kind of appreciated it, because, well, he was kind of a total bitch, too, in lots of ways, those with Beautiful Minds often are. He was definitely a bitch to me, shocked that I found some of his ideas and opinions less than wonderful and attractive, even if he was only trying to help.
Beautiful minds often have a hard time with the social niceties, they’re often blunt, direct, tactless, and when one works in the sciences, runs the Ph.D. gauntlet, she gets used to it, even gains some skill in it. As a direct result, one also learns to protect the heart. Heck, if a person disagrees with the consensus within his group, he might even learn how to quell the passions of heart, build walls around them, keep them private.
He had a Beautiful Heart, and a Private Mind. His soul is just Beautiful.